This entry was posted on 4/12/2007 10:41 PM and is filed under uncategorized.
A letter to all:
I’m sorry if I have offended
anyone. I didn’t know that bandits were
such a black eye for the race. I didn't know so many people would want to stick a shiv in one of my legs because I wanted to experience the "religious" experience that is the Boston Marathon -- that so many have said is the greatest day of their lives.
I
assumed I could run down the road by myself, a long way behind the real
runners. Proving something to myself, proving that I could I could do something
that seemed so impossible. No matter
what happens on Monday, this has been an unbelievable experience for me.
I have made positive changes in my life, I
have much more confidence and have regained a lot of my self-esteem. What started out as just a funny way to stay
motivated in weight loss has blossomed into motivation for lots of people to
change their lives. I am
healthier. This is a journey that I
would never have been able to do without the inspiration and encouragement that
many of you have given me (as well as the motivation I have gotten from the
people who have wished me ill will).
I’ve tried all the diets; Atkins,
Nutrisystem, high carbs, low carbs, no carbs, they work for a month and then I
slip off. I’ve gone to the gym, same
thing, lasts for a month, miss awhile, and can’t go back. You keep telling yourself that you’ll start
the diet or go on the run next week, the whole time despising yourself for not
doing it. It ruins you, how can you
have any confidence if you hate yourself?
I was too big. It is not good to
be 26 and thinking about the realistic possibility of a heart attack
everyday. It puts a cloud over you and
your entire life. I had to try
something big. Something that would
force me to put it all out there so there was no quit. No going back. So I picked what seemed to be the most ridiculous thing at the
time.
I publicized, I got the most
people to watch it that I could. What
better way to keep from giving up?
I
haven’t given up and I think I have a pretty good chance to be able run 26.2
miles. But there was no way I would
ever try it if I didn’t tell a ridiculous amount of people about first, so that
there was no way to back out without looking like an ass. However, there has been a somewhat
unintentional offshoot. It has inspired
people to want to do the same. Maybe
not run a marathon, but lose some weight, start jogging again, or just eat a
little better.
I think that we (you and me) really started
something special here. With all the
negative media attention that obese people get, this goes to show that people
can change. I hope that the people who
have been inspired will continue to make positive changes in their life, just
as I will. This is no longer just about
running a marathon and having a good time, it’s about setting goals and
achieving them.
Sometimes you can’t
accomplish your goals, but then again that’s not always in your control.
I’m sure a lot of the “elite” runners are smiling,
happy to be able to say, “I told you so.”
It should give some of those runners’ blogs good fodder.
But I don’t care; I didn’t do this for
them.
I did this for myself, and obese
people everywhere.
So, only time will
tell what happens at the marathon, but regardless of that, the last three
months have been a success. Anyways, I
guess I’m getting all sentimental now that the race is almost here, but not
because I might not be able to run. I
know that I will probably finish the marathon.
I guess if they remove me from the race I’ll find a running track,
walking path, dog park, bike trail, ski hill, anywhere with a measured distance
and run the race by myself. Any 26.2
miles will do. I just thought it might
be a little more convenient to use the same one everyone else was...
